Reflecting On The Month Of Love

Did you know that group memberships, like that of the IWCB, make us better romantic partners?

Falling in love is a magical mystery, but what turns that love into a successful long term relationship isn’t.

February, a month famous for its focus on love, is the perfect time to take stock of our own relationships, and how we are behaving in them.

Our own parents are our first teachers of communication.

If you grew up in a house where whoever was in trouble was shunned, it may be tempting to do the same. That critical voice inside of your own head? It comes from somewhere. Insults, quick tempers, sarcasm and eye-rolling are all contagious habits that can send any relationship into a tailspin.

We often think there is some catastrophic reason relationships end, but mostly they just fade away. Boredom, being ignored, feeling unseen or unappreciated, consistently criticized -- these are what make someone walk out.

But how does one shake off these toxic behaviors and treat their own partner differently?

It’s simple but challenging: intention and practice.

Successful couples stand by each other in small ways on the daily. It’s getting their favorite wine from across town; it’s complimenting them when they are dressed to impress, and having a "we’re in it together" attitude when they make a mistake rather than blaming them. Remembering that we have our own faults and sharp edges helps us to feel more compassionate about our partners.

And how do lifelong commitments like marriages endure?

Well, the not-so-secret ingredients are laughter, appreciation, compliments, flirting, and putting some effort into being interesting after all these years. And, yes, being in clubs like the IWCB.

Going out and doing enriching activities, being in service, continuously meeting other people with new energy and different ideas can charge our batteries and keeps us fresh. Adults who have friendships and interests outside of their partners report more satisfying unions. After a fun Women’s Club coffee morning, we bring renewed enthusiasm for life and vigor back home with us.

In this month of love let's be grateful for the romance in our lives, but also for each other in the sisterhood we create. As the saying goes, "The grass isn't greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it.

- Talley Sjoberg-Varney, Clearly Sage Advice